All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
