does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
