I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just gift wrapped bread.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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