Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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