And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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