So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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