Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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