he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
