so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
