Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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