actually, I'm a sock model
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
