that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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