Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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