I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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