no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
