no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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