So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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