The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
