All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
