it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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