I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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