we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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