Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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