She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
