um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
