Yo dont text me then not text me
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
