i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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