school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
