matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
