fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
