Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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