Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
