Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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