You just made me feel so damn special
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
