Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
