yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
