I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
