epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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