just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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