:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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