Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
