The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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