how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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