I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
