you win again, gameday.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
