i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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