so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
My apartment stinks of burning failure
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
