it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
