she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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