hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
