Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
